Memoir #34 "A match made in Heaven"

On May 27, 2011 I became an official adoptive mommy and I cannot describe the feeling of knowing that she is ours forever! Why God chose us to borrow her for a while is beyond me...we are so undeserving of such a special job and we just pray that we can raise her to be a magnificent Godly young lady =D

We are a match made in heaven...

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

Happy Gotcha Day!!!

Memoir #33 "we cannot sit around and do nothing"

Dear God,

My eyes fail from weeping, I am in torment within;

my heart is poured out on the ground because people are destroyed, because children and infants faint in the streets of the city!!!

Dear People of this great country,

Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin;

pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord.

Lift up your hands to him for the lives of children, who faint from hunger at every street corner!!!

From Lamentations 2:11&19

Watch this video and be changed -->
I am not going to continue with depraved indifference




...It changed me.

Memoir #32 "Set-backs and such"

Sorry it has been a while since I have posted! We are still in a sort of limbo for both our dear daughters. 

Raya's adoption has been postponed because the Judge has the day off.  Hmm...did he have the day off when the adoption was scheduled or did he just decide to take the day off now???  I don' t know.

All I know is that my grandparents and my aunt & her family were planning on coming, that my parents and in-laws took the day off of work, and that my husband and I took the day off of work to drive an hour and 1/2 for her adoption...and now I am told just 5 days before..."whoops...the Judge has the day off, we have to reschedule"...honestly honestly.  [I found out that it will be next week Friday now so very exciting!!!]
As far as JJ is concerned...that has also been postponed.  On Wednesday/Thursday supposedly of this week we should know if the first home that had her will be taking her back.  Again, I wonder if we really will know by then but that is what they are saying.  It would be such an answer to prayer if that is the case.  We would like to move her this Friday then if possible.  If that home is not able to take her then they would try to find her another home right away.

I will keep you posted as soon as we have any more informoration on either's situation.  Thanks for your prayers!  On a positive note, I started something with them that they just love and I think it is hilarious.  I call it "book club time" and we sit in a circle by our book shelf and we each pick out one book.  Then we talk about what the book is about.  Last night they said "Snow white" and "a Cat-a-pilla" (I picked Where the Wild Things Are).  Then we each "read" the story to each-other showing the pictures.  They LOVED this!  Book club time trumped bath time lol.  The stories I heard went like this -->

In a sing-songy way "Snow whittttttttttttte...Snow whitttttttttttttte...and a mean witch....and Snow whittttttttttttte....la da dee da to do la ....dee end"

followed by

"Once upon a time a butterfly...once upon a time this thing (caterpillar haha)...once upon a time apples...once upon a time strawberries...once upon a time a big leaf...the end"  [I just love reading books backwards =)]

“See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.
(Matthew 18:10 ESV)

Blessings!!!

Memoir # 30 "Bittersweet"

This week is tough in regards to our dear daughter JJ and exiciting in regards to our dear daughter Raya.  We got he news last week that the Judge feels JJ's bio-mom is doing enough to not turn the train around at this point and he wants to reunify her.  We also got the news yesterday that Raya's adoption finalization will be next Friday!  Such mixed emotions and some big changes that will be made in our house. 

Because JJ will be reunifying, she should begin doing visits more frequently and for longer periods of time.  We just cannot accomodate this because we both work full-time and I drive an hour and a half each way to bring her for the visits.  Additionally, the bio-mom is not required to do any driving or any re-arranging at all.  Everything is catered to her.  She now "can't" do visits until 4pm on weekdays or on weekends and we are just expected to accomodate this.  Well, I wouldn't get home until 7:30pm on Fridays and this is for the 2 hour visits we are doing now so imagine if they become 3 hours or more.  Also, we need to have family time on the weekends and I need to spend time with Raya so that just will not work.  It's tough.

We feel strongly that JJ should be reunified quickly with monitoring, and that will be the true test of whether or not her bio-mom can really maintain the progress she has made and stay off the drugs.  The problem is the Court would like to keep the visits going for another couple months and monitor and begin increasing them and then have another hearing at the end of July and then re-unify her if everything is maintained.  I asked the case worker, so what if on July 10 for example, the bio-mom fails her drug test.  Her response was, well it would set everything back and there would be another 3 months added to the case.

This enrages me and this is why at the year mark, the judge should have ended it and terminated like he was supposed to!

JJ has already been in foster care for 16 months right now.  In July she will have been for 18.  In October, she will have been for 21 months.

In October, JJ willl be 45 months old and she will have spent half of her life (46%) in FOSTER CARE!!!  If the case continues the scales will begin to tip to where she has spent more of her life in foster care than with her biological mother or a forever home which is what she DESERVES!!!

Judge, are you out of your mind???

This is why the state of Michigan was sued by a children's rights organization in 2006.  The state of Michigan settled and Governor Granholm's comment was "we welcome this reform"...well is it even being monitored or implemented???  This is the stuff that I am vowing to change in my lifetime...please stay tuned for opportunity to help me fight this cause for kids like JJ.

On a happier note, our daughter Raya will be ours forever and she will be safe and out of the system officially next week Friday on May 20, 2011!!!!  Her case is noted as being particulaly efficient by everyone we meet's standards from foster parents, adoptive parents, foster-care workers and adoption workers alike.  It has been exactly 16 months for Raya just like JJ ...but her ending is much happier.

The contrast between the two cases is probably what affects me the most so far in this journey. 

One little toddler girl was removed and placed into her adoptive home, immediately surrounded by all the people who will love her forever, to be adopted 16 months later.

One little toddler girl was removed and will be in at least 4 foster homes before and if she returns to her biological mother.  She has remained in this state of limbo, sometimes seeing her bio-mom for 1 or 2 hours at a time, sometimes clean and sober, sometimes not.  She has also been trying to attach to others.  She will have been in at least 4 houses.  She will have had at least 4 bedrooms.  She has reported abuse by bio-mom. She is still living this nightmare 16 months later.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Please pray and pray fervently that our God works a miracle in this little girl's life and works a miracle in the broken child welfare system in this great country.

Memoir #29 "My quiver is full"

When I woke up this morning I grabbed my bible and I turned to the subject guide in the back to find a passage having to do with motherhood.   I guess I was feeling particularly “motherly” on Mother’s day =D

It’s true the bible is the bible regardless…but the one I have happens to be 14 years old and its subject guide is just not the best.  Under the heading Mother, there were 5 passages listed.  I decided to head to the book of Psalms and although not very “motherly”, here is the jewel that I found:

Psalm 127 – by Solomon

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.

Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.

It's useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone.  Don't you know he enjoys giving rest to those he loves?

Children are a heritage from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior, are children born in one’s youth.

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you; you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep!

 

I pray that your quiver may be full and you may be richly blessed…Happy Mother’s Day!

Memoir # 28 "Today is for Bio-moms"

Today is for Bio-moms because mother's day is just around the corner and I want to pay tribute to those who have done what is perhaps the most unselfish thing that one could ever do...

You see, a pregnant woman has 3 choices. 

One, she could have an abortion and she could go back to the life she was living before she was pregnant.  In this country abortion is legal, it's cheap, and it's relatively easy to do.  The recovery is barely visible and no one would ever have to know!

Two, she could keep the baby because it's hers.  Even though she doesn't know how she will care for this child, and even though she can barely take care of herself right now she can keep it.  Why because she has a right to and it will take a while before someone comes and removes the child so why not?

or
She could carry this baby, growing each day with a tiny heartbeat inside her body for 9 long months and then go through the pain of labor only to place that child into another person's arms to give him a better life.

How beautiful and selfless.  How amazing are bio-moms who make this choice. If it weren't for two Bio-moms who did, I wouldn't have my wonderful husband or my precious little girl.

Today is for Bio-moms...

*If this video won't play please click on youtube in the upper left corner

Memoir #27 "How should I pray?"

So today I ask for your prayers again because it is the first progress hearing since our second DD (dear daughter) JJ was placed with us in February. 

I admit that sometimes I do not know what I should pray for regarding her case.  I always pray for her safety, for God's will to be done in her life and ours, and for her to be loved and cared for no matter what.  But, when it comes to the specifics, I start to question what should I really be asking God to do?

-Is it ok to pray for bio-mom to "fall off the wagon"?

-Is it ok to pray for our adoption of JJ?

-Is it ok to pray that she goes to an adoptive home besides ours - a home that longs for a little girl of their own and cannot have one?

I decided to look into how Jesus prayed to gain some insight on this topic and this is what I found:

What can we learn from the prayer of Jesus? (from Jesus Prayed by Victor Hoagland)
 
First, that true prayer should come from the heart. He prayed from within, not with just words or gestures. His prayer was not based only on feelings or passing emotions. Prayer comes from within, beyond level of feelings, from ourselves. " Go into the inner room, " Jesus says, " and there pray to your Father, who hears you." Sometimes prayer from the heart, from the "inner room" takes the form of words, at other times it may be like his own wordless cry.
 
Secondly, prayer is fed by faith. Jesus prayed with an unwavering faith in his heavenly Father, a faith that lasted till his death. He taught us to pray also with childlike faith in God, believing that our prayers are heard by One who loves us.
 
Thirdly, prayer should be steady and persevering as his prayer was, even when no answer comes or when no relief is in sight. "Watch and Pray," he says, "Seek and knock," till the door that reveals God's holy will be opened.

      

   

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer or petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

May God bless you today!!!