This week is tough in regards to our dear daughter JJ and exiciting in regards to our dear daughter Raya. We got he news last week that the Judge feels JJ's bio-mom is doing enough to not turn the train around at this point and he wants to reunify her. We also got the news yesterday that Raya's adoption finalization will be next Friday! Such mixed emotions and some big changes that will be made in our house.
Because JJ will be reunifying, she should begin doing visits more frequently and for longer periods of time. We just cannot accomodate this because we both work full-time and I drive an hour and a half each way to bring her for the visits. Additionally, the bio-mom is not required to do any driving or any re-arranging at all. Everything is catered to her. She now "can't" do visits until 4pm on weekdays or on weekends and we are just expected to accomodate this. Well, I wouldn't get home until 7:30pm on Fridays and this is for the 2 hour visits we are doing now so imagine if they become 3 hours or more. Also, we need to have family time on the weekends and I need to spend time with Raya so that just will not work. It's tough.
We feel strongly that JJ should be reunified quickly with monitoring, and that will be the true test of whether or not her bio-mom can really maintain the progress she has made and stay off the drugs. The problem is the Court would like to keep the visits going for another couple months and monitor and begin increasing them and then have another hearing at the end of July and then re-unify her if everything is maintained. I asked the case worker, so what if on July 10 for example, the bio-mom fails her drug test. Her response was, well it would set everything back and there would be another 3 months added to the case.
This enrages me and this is why at the year mark, the judge should have ended it and terminated like he was supposed to!
JJ has already been in foster care for 16 months right now. In July she will have been for 18. In October, she will have been for 21 months.
In October, JJ willl be 45 months old and she will have spent half of her life (46%) in FOSTER CARE!!! If the case continues the scales will begin to tip to where she has spent more of her life in foster care than with her biological mother or a forever home which is what she DESERVES!!!
Judge, are you out of your mind???
This is why the state of Michigan was sued by a children's rights organization in 2006. The state of Michigan settled and Governor Granholm's comment was "we welcome this reform"...well is it even being monitored or implemented??? This is the stuff that I am vowing to change in my lifetime...please stay tuned for opportunity to help me fight this cause for kids like JJ.
On a happier note, our daughter Raya will be ours forever and she will be safe and out of the system officially next week Friday on May 20, 2011!!!! Her case is noted as being particulaly efficient by everyone we meet's standards from foster parents, adoptive parents, foster-care workers and adoption workers alike. It has been exactly 16 months for Raya just like JJ ...but her ending is much happier.
The contrast between the two cases is probably what affects me the most so far in this journey.
One little toddler girl was removed and placed into her adoptive home, immediately surrounded by all the people who will love her forever, to be adopted 16 months later.
One little toddler girl was removed and will be in at least 4 foster homes before and if she returns to her biological mother. She has remained in this state of limbo, sometimes seeing her bio-mom for 1 or 2 hours at a time, sometimes clean and sober, sometimes not. She has also been trying to attach to others. She will have been in at least 4 houses. She will have had at least 4 bedrooms. She has reported abuse by bio-mom. She is still living this nightmare 16 months later.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Please pray and pray fervently that our God works a miracle in this little girl's life and works a miracle in the broken child welfare system in this great country.
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