When I search for advice on how to handle crazy three-year-old behavior, more or less this is what I find...
"My angel is nearing 3 and a half and all of sudden she has become a terror..." etc.
The good news is, many people agree that for many kids, somewhere between 3 and 4 can be their worst behavior period of their childhood.
The funny part is that in my case I would never start that sentence with "my angel" =D
Our first foster daughter really has had behavior problems from the beginning so there is no suprise there and she has just never been that introverted, complacent child that strives to please you. I guess if I have anything going for me is this didn't just come out of the blue and I do have experience now in dealing with it. The hard part is this round of behavior is frustrating because (and as people seem to agree with me online) nothing seems to work with her to change it.
A woman was describing a typical bad behavior of her son. She gets him out of the car at the grocery store and a second later he darts across the parking lot. She is screaming at him to stop and has to chase him all the while he is looking back at her laughing. At least our daughter is good about situations where true danger is involved but she too will laugh at our punishments. Or, she will do the behavior again 3 times right while you are standing there telling her to stop. Or she will wait 2 minutes until you walk away and do the behavior again. I also question if she is learning to not do the behavior because she is so impulsive.
According to a number of experts, this age is a time psychologically and physiologically trying on children and a lot of times they are left not knowing what to do with themselves. I am glad for an explanation but it really doesn't eleviate my frustrations.
A few things we are trying though are:
1, We present her with choices contantly so for example, getting ready in the morning is no longer "ok, let's brush your teeth"...it is "you have four things you need to do which are..., which one do you want to do first?"
2, There are 10 core behaviors we need to correct and keep in check so if those are broken she goes directly to time-out...do not pass go...the rest of the things are encouraged by rewards so I say "I would like it if you pick up your toys now and if you do you get a sticker"
3, Shorten everything...if you she hits we say "no hitting" and she goes in time-out. That is it, end of story. I used to try to explain because some expert said you need to "talk" to your kids so they know why they are in trouble and why the behavior is wrong etc. Well, I will tell you that does not work. I have tried and she is looking at me and it appears she is listening and when I get finished she will say "can I have two donuts?"...yeah, short and sweet is where it's at!
I'd love to hear your suggestions so don't be afraid to comment...just click on 0 comments (or whatever number will be before the word comments) at the bottom of this blog.
Blessings!
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