Memoir # 15 "you're sitting on my barbie daddy"

So kids say the darndist things right...my hubby is helping the girls do something and I hear "you're sitting on my barbie daddy" lol and "can you help me put her dress on" haha...Daddy playing barbies =D

Anyway, I got to thinking, how exactly do you explain to your kids that they are adopted???

Really a lot of questions come to mind like what age is the right age and how much of their past do you tell them and is there a proper way to do it?

This can be quite a controversial topic and there are so many opinions on when the right time is and what you should say.  I have begun reading some books and asking others what their opinion is but to be honest, the answers have fallen short on advice of what is the right thing to do.  A lot of people seem to give this response  --> "do whatever is right for your family"...that is great and all but when I have a client coming in for legal advice, let's just say that is not my answer...otherwise I'd be out of a job, ha! 

So, I am still searching for the answer.  I can tell you what I am thinking as of now based on the limited research I have done and please feel free to comment and share your opinions and ideas =)

To start...which type of adoption is the best way to go???  There are three main categories.

Open adoption is the best for the child...at least research shows that children fare better mentally and emotionally when they know where they came from, why things happened the way they did, and they can find their true identity so to speak.  Sounds great right but how very difficult for the adoptive parents to facilitate and manage for life perhaps??? and for some it could be dangerous...something to consider.  Where do you draw the line and how do you walk the line?

Semi-open adoption is the next best thing for the child...it is sort of considered the best of both worlds and it does give a family a lot of flexibility in the decision about how much interaction the adoptive parents want to have with the biological parents.  There is a whole spectrum from sending photographs to allowing a set amount of supervised visits per year with bio-family members such as grandparents.

Closed adoption is the hardest thing for the child...apparantly children struggle the most in this case because they tend to have identity issues and they spend their most "tender of years" with unanswered questions and gaping holes in their identities and their hearts.  This is the historical American approach though and often times it is the only option (for example many international adoptions).

These three approaches really are only the tip of the iceberg though, now back to the what, when, where, why, and how to break the news to your beautiful little child...A lot to ponder!

No matter what, remember that all of us are adopted by God, that he chose us and took us as his own and he accepted us even when we were unacceptable =)