First of all Happy Valentine's Day!!! I have hated V-day for most of my life and maybe you are like me and feel the same. It is very forced and I for all of those who don't have a "special someone" it is very lonely and evil ha! But this year is different...I woke up to my wonderful husband (this is our first "married" V-day) and then I got not one hug but two from my girls! Also, in case you don't know, three-year-old hugs are just the best, they are a mixture of arms around your neck, snuggling, and squeezing really tightly like they will never let you go. It is how a hug should be...genuine =) Although I woke up at 5:45AM and struggled my way through getting all of us ready and out the door by 7:20AM LOL...I wouldn't change it. There is such a joy in taking care of children, especially those who really really need you.
Things have been going good, well let me take that back, they have been going great. I was so worried about how our Raya would react to JJ and how JJ would react leaving her old foster home behind but so far it is better than expected. The girls really care about eachother and I think they truly enjoy eachothers' company or at least having someone there with them at all times to share experiences. We are hoping the the good in each rubs off on the other, for example we hope Raya can influence JJ to be more outgoing/friendly and not so shy. We also hope JJ can influence Raya to be more obedient and to speak better.
So far, and really I should say today, I am "ok" with the idea that we may not keep JJ in all of this and that our job is to give her the best life while she is in our home. I'm sure as the months go by this may change and I will be more attached to her. With Raya it was all so fast and we changed our lives so drastically that we feel like I "had to" attach right away or it wouldn't have worked. I also was a "stay-at-home-mom" with Raya for 6 months. God's master plan is better than we could imagine and I know that what he has instore for JJ is what is best for her. Either we get to adopt another angel or this 6 month time period gets the birth mommy whipped into shape *finally*...to become independent and able to be a functioning and contributing adult in society as opposed to a huge burden...and most importantly to become a good mother.
On a side note, I sometimes wonder if JJ really even misses or likes her birth mother. Based on our observations, we think that she was cared for and nutured by her older sister and that is where her bond is but not much past that. That makes it even harder to be open to the idea that God's plan may be to reunite her with her birth mother but we will see what he has in store. He can work miracles...this he does!
Blessings to all!
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