Memoir #46 Hurry up and Wait for Joy

You have given me greater joy than those who have everything.  Psalm 4:7

Hurry up and wait…

I feel like this describes my current situation. 

I was so excited and did my part to transfer my license from DHS to a private agency, but I am still waiting for the first phone call from the new agency to begin the next leg of our journey.  This is the agency that will be maintaining our license and facilitating our next adoption.

It’s kind of like how the Judicial System works in this country.  You cannot be late to court so you must hurry-up and get into the court room on time or early, only to sit there with your police officers, witnesses, the defense attorneys, and court staff and do what?    Well, wait…

I am just not a patient person =)

I am so ready to move forward and enhance our life with another wonderful child or perhaps two!

What makes is easier is that my husband is completely on board and tonight when I showed him pictures of a set of identical, twin, 3-year-old boys who are waiting, his response was “I’m in!”

I highly doubt this is the typical husband’s reaction, but we are ready, willing, and able so Lord…so please, bring them on!  Bring on the children you have placed on this earth for us to raise.  We cannot wait for them to become a part of our everyday lives!

So, I said to him nonchalantly, “they will probably be little monsters…can you imagine 3 toddlers???”  This is probably true, but you know what?  We believe these little people are our specialties.  We are accustomed to chaotic “toddler-life” and you know what…it is actually so much fun!  For example, tonight we spent an hour doing “gymnastics” in our living room with Raya and it was a blast.  I can’t wait to do this again in double or triple time…and that would be priceless =)

I can honestly say that I “know” what I would be getting myself into.

What I mean by “know” is that based on my experience with two toddlers at one time, I predict what it would be like with two again or three and I am ok with the chaos.  Actually, I welcome it Ah!

What I really welcome is the absolute joy that I have never, ever found elsewhere.  And, this joy is a feeling in your gut that makes you smile from ear to ear =D

It is a joy that makes you get up in the morning and know you have a purpose in this world…a purpose that is much, much bigger than you. 

I guess it could be my calling maybe…you think???

I love being a mother and I love, loving God’s children.  Every day I pray for my rainbow child…aka rainbow after the storm…and I cannot wait to meet this wonderful and special child or children!!!

The bible says “You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.  You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy.” Psalm 30:11

Blessings!!!

Memoir #45 Foster Daddies

My husband is the greatest and I wanted to include a memoir that is a tribute to him.  He is the other half of our dreams and without him I would never be able to do this foster-adopt journey.

MY DADDY

I am a lucky kid. I have a daddy that lives in my house. My daddy loves me, takes care of me and teaches me right from wrong. He says prayers with me every night at bedtime and at dinner.

 My daddy teaches me how to ride horses, play tennis and even teaches me to play baseball. My daddy sat down with me at the computer and taught me how to play games, and my daddy even plays chess with me. My daddy takes me fishing, boating and camping.

When I was sick, my daddy stayed up with me and held me even when I was crying and throwing up. My daddy held my head close to this shoulder and carried me to the hospital when I had to have stitches where I fell and hurt myself. My daddy put medicine on my skinned knee that didn't even sting! My daddy even lets me eat cheerios in his nice new car.

Everyone thinks that only mommies do all of these things. I don't know what I would do without my daddy. Mommy can't catch a ball, play Frisbee or catch a fish as good as my daddy can. My daddy is teaching me to plant trees, mow the lawn, swim, and even teach the dog tricks.

My daddy sits down with me every night at the dinner table and helps me with my homework. My daddy loves me and shows it. I've seen my daddy do dishes, fold clothes, clean the house and all the other things that mommies normally do. My daddy is the greatest!

I am a lucky kid. I have a daddy that lives in my house. My daddy loves me, takes care of me and teaches me right from wrong. I also have a "real" dad. I don't get to live with him right now, but that's alright I've got my daddy. I am living in a home with my "Foster Parents". My foster daddy sure is a wonderful guy, isn't he?

~~~~~

These are actual statements from children in foster care. 

These men that they speak about are active foster parents and are unsung heroes.

Most of us think about the woman of the house taking care of the kids. But, these extraordinary men take classes, training, help with housework, and love the children.

They are men that should be recognized for their love, skill and talent.

Thank you Lord for all our daddies and especially Lord, thank you for foster daddies!

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Like a warrior's fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children! Psalm 127:3-4

*Foster Children statements submitted by Michelle Gallagher

Memoir #44 Orphan Advocacy

Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans…Isaiah 1:17

Did you know…

There are 143 million orphans in the world…and an additional 20 million displaced children.

In Eastern Europe, less than half of the orphans will live to see their 20th birthday.  Of those who survive, half of them will end up involved with organized crime, drug addiction and prostitution.

In Africa, children are armed and used for war…and there is a concerted effort to extend their life expectancy to beyond age 5.

In the US, 25,000 kids will leave the foster care system without families…and 25% of them will become homeless.

Orphan advocacy has become one of the most important causes that I support.  I believe that orphans are some of God’s most cherished little people on this planet. 

Throughout the bible God commands us to care for them and bring them justice and I am searching for ways to do this.

I think when we hear the word Orphan; we often picture a pot-bellied child in Africa with no shoes and a dirty face.  This certainly is one type of orphan whom we should care about. 

But I think we often forget that there are a multitude of orphans living right here in the U.S. in our own neighborhoods. 

In fact, there are a little over 400,000 children in U.S. foster care today.  About 75% of them are not living in relative homes. 

I looked-up the definition of the word orphan, and here is one that really stood out to me.

A person that is without protection.

This resonates with me because when you are a foster parent and you get involved with “the system”…the number one goal for children is safety. 

They at least deserve to be safe. 

Children may be living at the poverty line.  They may not have shoes that fit them.  They may live in smoke-filled homes where they do not have a bedroom…but if they are safe, then its ok. 

Tonight I think about all the children across the globe who are orphaned.  Whether they are temporarily displaced or they are permanently deprived of parents and family.

May God bless these children and may he bring them a forever home quickly!

*Statistics credit to Child Welfare Information Gateway and Theorphanfoundation.org

Memoir #43 JJ's Voice

This is a tribute to my previous foster daughter JJ...she just turned 4 years old.  We got to see her for Christmas and she is doing well despite the situation she is still in.  She is in the process of "reunification with her bio-mom"...a process that is always favored above adoption in the United States...even when it should not be.  This is for her so I have titled it JJ's Voice.

Dear Judge,

I am an attorney and so I mean no disrespect whatsoever in writing you.

I am also a foster parent.

I am also a mom.

I am also a person who has seen a deep injustice firsthand, and my only goal in writing this is to possibly prevent another injustice of this kind from happening to another child.

Many children’s lives are held in your hands and I do not envy your position at all.  I am writing to tell you that one special child, who I love dearly, has suffered an injustice however; and I cannot sit quiet on her two year anniversary of entering “the system”.

You see, not only does this mark two years for her being in the system…it also marks the day that she has now been in the system for longer than she has been out of the system in her precious little life.

My brother…this should not be!

The law changed for a reason and a line was drawn in the sand to prevent children from growing-up in limbo.  Way too many children have spent years of their lives in and out of foster care with no forever home in sight…and no end to the suffering of this in-between-life.

When the one year mark came around for this dear child you had two options.  You could have ended her time in the system or you could give her mom another chance…and I propose to you, Your Honor, that you made the wrong decision in this case.

I am trying not to be biased but I will put forth a number of the facts that support my theory.  

At the one year mark,

Mom did not have a job.

Mom did not have a house.

Mom was taking out student loans and not attending school and living off of them.

Mom did not have good mental health.

Mom was testing positive for controlled substances!!!

Mom had one entire year of this child’s life, spent apart from her, to clean up her act and get these things together. 

Mom spent the tax payers’ money and attended counseling and parenting classes and drug treatment programs and court hearings…only to fail!

Precious little girl had been in two foster homes at this point…both of them would have loved to adopt her.

You decided to keep precious little girl in the system and this, your Honor, was a mistake.

Today, another year has past, and precious little girl’s mom is still testing positive for controlled substances.  Precious little girl is still in limbo and she is suffering Judge, she is suffering!!!…for example, she is four now and she still cannot control her bladder.

Let’s re-live this past year of her life so that you can see just how this decision has impacted her forever.

Precious little girl went on to another foster home, with family, who would have loved to adopt her.

She was making progress and at the same time, mom was fooling the system.  Mom is now engaged to a gang member, who she would rather go and bail out of jail, then attend a visit with precious little girl.

CPS was called in when precious little girl was complaining about abuse and mom was still given more chances.

Precious little girl had to move into another foster home to facilitate longer visits with mom and be closer to her.  Mom didn’t put any effort into seeing her more.

Precious little girl was put back into “mom’s” home only to live with her grandmother…which is the home she was removed from and in the midst of drug addicts and a sex offender…and the court is failing to keep track of this.

Your Honor, please do not allow this to happen to another child. 

Sincerely,

JJ’s Voice