"My child, I knew every difficulty you would face in life. I suffered each one with you. I loved you and had a plan for your life before you were born.
This plan has not changed, no matter what happened to you or what you have done!
See, I knew all things concerning you before I formed you, and I would never allow any hurt to come into your life that I could not use for eternity. Will you let me?
Your truth will be imcomplete unless you view it against the backdrop of my truth. Your story will remain half-finished until you let Me do my half with your hurt. Let Me perfect that which concerns you.
I remain, your Faithful Father."
This plan has not changed, no matter what happened to you or what you have done!
See, I knew all things concerning you before I formed you, and I would never allow any hurt to come into your life that I could not use for eternity. Will you let me?
Your truth will be imcomplete unless you view it against the backdrop of my truth. Your story will remain half-finished until you let Me do my half with your hurt. Let Me perfect that which concerns you.
I remain, your Faithful Father."
Today it has been two month since we lost our baby Faith who was born still. It's amazing how plans can change after a tragedy strikes and we have definitely tweaked ours a bit.
Little boy age 10 to 36 months…well that is what we just told our licensing worker on Thursday past when she came to update our home study. This is the age range that we are considering for our next foster to adopt placement. Our plans have changed and we cannot be more excited! I use the word “our” loosely because I realize now more than ever that it’s really God’s plan for our lives that will prevail and that is a good thing. He is our loving father and he knows what is best for us…his plan is much better than ours could ever be.
So what is the new plan exactly? Well, we are going to continue trying to conceive another baby if and when it happens but we also would like to add another beautiful waiting child to our home. We have been so blessed and we have so much love to give! I am really drawn to international adoption and I would not mind parenting a domestic infant, but our heart lies in foster care. In fact, I have been doing some research on the various types of adoption and I will write about the anamolies I've found at a later date. But my husband is adamant and I am good with his position. We would like to pursue another adoption of a child who has been orphaned right here in the U.S. and who is more than a few days old. Toddlers are our specialty...and we’ve decided we would love to add a boy to our mix!
We have taken the steps to moving our license from DHS to a private organization in order to facilitate the matching process and adoption. Today I checked the status of our foster care license and it appears there was activity on it yesterday, so it shouldn't be too much longer. I cannot wait to meet our new worker and get the ball rolling!
Perhaps the best thing I have ever done was fostering our daughter Raya and adopting her. It was so risky and scary at times and let’s not forget HARD…but it was so worth it! One of the second best things I have ever done was foster our JJ girl. Fostering is such a selfless thing and yet you are the one who ends up being rewarded two-fold by doing so and the rewards continue to come well into the future after your placement. We never know how many more days we have on this earth but I have thought, what do I want to be doing when it’s my time to go? I’ve figured out after beginning this journey that I would like to be caring for some of the neediest people on the planet =) go figure.
Speaking of JJ girl…we got to see her!!! This was the highlight of my Christmas and I will give you an update on her later.
For now...this is to you...my future little boy...may God bring you to us quickly!
My baby boy…I cannot wait to meet you. I feel like my heart is bursting with joy at just the thought of you. I wonder if your eyes will be brown or green. Will your hair be curly or sort of straight?
I wonder if you will play football or if you will love to sing. Will you smell like the sweetness that my Raya smells like?
I wonder if you are safe right now…if you are hungry or scared? Do you live with a family who is fostering you or are you living with the one who gave your life?
Is your skin brown or tan or café au lait? Are your cheeks round and pudgy? And what is your age? Are you still wearing diapers and toddling around? Are you speaking at all or nothing but sound?
Is your laugh loud and robust? Is there a sparkle in your eye? I can’t wait to meet you my sweet baby boy. And I pray for you each night even though we have yet to meet…I pray for the patter of more little feet.
I can’t wait to hold you and squeeze you so tight. I can’t wait to tuck you into bed after lullabies at night. Lord bring us our baby boy as quick as its right…we have oh so much love to give him!
~Blessings! Rachel
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